I’d really be okay if it would go ahead and end. From rude customer emails to a less than stellar MFM appointment, I’ve had better days.
My parents came to town today because my mom had to work here and my dad watched Jax during my appointment (which Jax LOVED, he thinks his Papaw is the bee’s knees.) My dad helped with some projects in the nursery and my mom brought me a super cute dress and some summer sandals for Jax, I love my parents! My dad is also helping me get squared away some of the legal/financial matters of having my own business, which is just not fun, and I won’t lie, pretty stressful. Necessary evil though I guess.
During the ultrasound, the tech kept asking “have you had a lot of severe pain recently? contractions?” Yes to contractions, no to pain. Those questions alone are enough to make a momma worry, obviously, and of course the ultrasound tech isn’t “allowed” to tell me what she sees so I waited 20 minutes for the doctor to come in to tell me what was going on.
I just stared at these pics of my adorable nugget and tried not to think about it. This may just look like an indecipherable blob to you but I love her.
My cervix looks okay (right at 3 when I’m resting) but when I push/bear down (weird, the first time they’d had me do that) it did decrease quite a bit.
My MFM wasn’t really concerned about that though, more of the issue today was the fact that the placenta is now pulling back from the uterine wall a sizable amount. This isn’t just a subchorionic bleed like I had early on in my pregnancy; she explained that that was just the membrane pulling back, but this is the actual placenta pulling away.
Obviously, this isn’t a good thing. If it keeps up, I’ll probably know it because it will be very painful. She wants to see me back weekly for the foreseeable future to keep an eye on things.
My body is ridiculous. I mean really. Can we please do SOMETHING right? Endometriosis, cysts, cervical cancer, incompetent cervix, irritable uterus and now this? Really? I honestly shouldn’t complain because I’ve been very blessed with two healthy babies thus far, but I can’t help feeling like my body is the most useless thing ever. :(
I think this is a lot of the reason that I’m hesitant to schedule a c-section. I feel like maybe, just maybe, I could deliver naturally and successfully and feel like my body did something absolutely the way nature intended. Then, I realize that I probably shouldn’t give it so much credit or take the risk. I don’t really know where I stand right now.