Nervous.

I’m about to talk about my health here for a bit. I’m fairly certain that most all of my readers are female, but just wanted to throw out there that this post will be about feminine health. If that bothers you, you’re welcome to click that red X in the corner.
Ok so I have been bleeding for almost 7 weeks non-stop. It’s a pain, and I have had bad what I call “deathcramps” on and off for the last 7 weeks. I have no idea what’s going on, but I do know that when I bleed, endometriosis spreads. When endo spreads, my fertility is in grave danger. My mom reminded me of this in no uncertain terms last night and basically told me to get my butt to a doctor. I needed to hear that to get my act together, thanks mom. Really, thanks.
I have wanted to find a new doctor ever since my birth experience from Hades, but I have put off making the effort of calling around to find a better hospital to deliver at [with better NICU facilities] and then find a doctor that delivers at that hospital. Today I finally did it. I called around and found a doctor that I think might be a good fit. I explained that I need to be seen soon both for a consultation and to see what the heck is going on with me. Shockingly, they had a cancellation for tomorrow morning so they could get me in at 9am. This is wonderful because 1. my sister is in town & can watch Jax while I go. SO great. 2. like I said, I need to be seen SOON.
So I’m nervous. Scratch that- I’m plain scared. I’m scared that we will talk it over and she will say that I can’t try to deliver vaginally before pushing me into a c-section. I’m scared that she won’t understand just how horrible my last birth experience was and how particular I would like to be about my next one. And I’m scared to find out what is going on with my body. Hopefully it’s nothing and some new BC can get me back on track, we will see.
My sister came back with us from my parents’ house this morning & we are loving having her here! It had been way too long since we saw her last so I am soakin’ up the sister time! She’s only staying til tomorrow, but it’s better than nothing I guess! On our way out of town we stopped by my friend Gini’s house to pick up a hand-me-down toy from her boys for Jax! He loves this thing! He spent at least an hour tonight playing with it and head-bobbing to the music – so cute.

Anyway, wish me luck. =

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Comments

  1. 1

    scary…I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hope the doctors visit goes well :)

  2. 2

    Good-luck hun! I pray everything goes well for you!

  3. 3

    I’m praying for your appointment to go well!!
    I hope that your health is explained, that your doc is a great fit, and that you are just relieved by the whole situation.
    That being said, I will warn you: no one EVER understands how craptastic childbirth can be… even doctors. My birth story does not even compare to what you went through, but there are aspects of it that I feel very strongly about, which I feel like no one else can sympathize with. It’s a very personal thing and every individual story is of the UTMOST importance to that mother, but not necessary to everyone else. I don’t want to sound uncaring– I just know doctors see so much that sometimes they become jaded, and I care about you too much to have you upset by someone’s insensitivity ;)

  4. 4

    praying for you, sweet friend!

  5. 5

    Praying everything goes well tomorrow! I understand how you must be feeling, I’ve been there, not with Endo, but with other health issues that I was scared to have checked out because I didn’t want to know the diagnosis. I learned that facing the known is MUCH better than worrying about the unknown. I’m going to pray for you to have peace tonight also. Hugs!

  6. 6
    Tamara :) says:

    Good luck, sweetie! Let me know if you need ANYTHING. Seriously. Just a few short minutes away. Hugs :)

  7. 7

    Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Maybe you could write everything down that you want to go over with her – so you don’t forget when you get nervous. I hope she can help you figure out how to make thing better for you! Hugs mama!!

  8. 8

    good luck! so scary.

    (By the way, love your blog and the pro teaser pic below. adorable!)

  9. 9

    Awww sweetie, I hope everything is okay. Please keep us updated, I will be sending you good thoughts tomorrow!

  10. 10

    I like that last photo of Jax.
    Good luck with the doctor appointment and keep us posted. I happy that you got an appointment so early because like your mother said, get to the doctor fast.

  11. 11

    Ellie has that same house and it was a hand me down too! I think it is her favorite toy :)

    Good luck at the doctor. I have been having issues with my cycle, too. My doctor says she thinks I may have PCOS. Yay.

    Keep us updated, I know you will!

  12. 12

    Good luck, hope everything will be ok!

  13. 13

    Text me if you want the name of the most amazing doctor in the world. He got me Faith, and is soo nice!

  14. 14

    Praying all goes well this morning. Anxious to hear the update!! Also- LOVE the family picture of you all… you look beautiful, Becca!

  15. 15

    You’re in my prayers as well! Good luck today.

  16. 16

    Good luck. T&P! I hope everything goes well and you can get some answers.

  17. 17

    Will be thinking & praying for you!

  18. 18

    Good luck!!! Hppe everything is ok. I have similar problems but not related to endo (from what the doc has said). Keep us posted!

  19. 19

    I’ll be praying that your pain/bleeding stops and your apt goes well. I’m so glad you found a dr. that seems like a good fit. Good luck today!

  20. 20

    i’m a little late, but best wishes with this morning’s appointment. hope all goes well :)

  21. 21

    Praying your appointment goes well! 7 weeks and you are finally getting yourself into the doctor…sheesh girl, make you a priority too : ).

  22. 22

    Good luck! I pray that you had a good appointment!

  23. 23

    I hope everything turns out just how you want it too. Thinking of you…

  24. 24

    okay I am praying for you, so are you trying to see if you can get pregnant soon?

  25. 25

    We have talked via email, and my heart aches for this new pain and stress you are experiencing. I am so happy that your mom is bossy, and that you are taking her advice.

    Please keep me posted.

    And know that you are in my thoughts.

  26. 26

    scary…I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hope the doctors visit goes well :)

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